Job Application, Messy Apartment and Hair Change

I applied for a job today, but I have to take a civil service exam. I suppose this is a good thing since it will help me later on. I just wish I didn't have to take a test to get a job. But, I guess it's better than ending up working at McDonald's or something. (No offense meant to McDonald's employees... I have nothing against you. But I do wish you'd get my order right once.)

This apartment. Sigh. I don't know what to do about it. I want to clean it and I do try, but then it's messy all over again. Right away. I'm determined to throw something out every single day. I have collected so much stuff I really don't need... For some reason I hang on to it all. I'll end up as one of those people on the talk shows with newspapers from 1965 stacked to the ceiling in their bedroom. It's not that bad, really, but it's just cluttered and that's really weighing on my nerves.

I'm going to get my haircut today. I'm nervous because it seems they always want to cut it really short and I don't want it short. I'm trying to grow it out as long as I can stand it. I'm also considering highlights. I'm trying desperately to change my physical appearance (weight, skin, teeth, hair, clothes) since I can't change my inner self or affect my physical surroundings. One thing at a time. I have always lived by the idea that I have to be "quiet" and not bother anyone. I mean, even now, when I pull up to a red light, I turn down my radio so I don't disturb nearby cars. It's built-in to me to not bother people. So I'm trying to break that. It's amazingly hard not to touch the volume knob when the car stops. Strange what we program ourselves to think and do, huh?