The Problem with Communication

Lately I've come to realize something: communication is wack. That's right, people. I said wack. People are there for you and then they are gone. This past week I have been very busy. I've had just enough time to get online, check my messages, maybe send a couple of replies, then go to bed. My hours at work are wild (tomorrow and Sunday I work 12 hours - he [the boss] found a way to cram 40 hours into 4 days). My aunt has been here since Tuesday and will be leaving the day after tomorrow. My health has left a little to be desired. And my past keeps replaying in my mind.

So, my first complaint about communication is this: when you do not contact a person for a while (no matter how busy you are) they will turn against you as they assume you no longer like them. It is so easy to be written off by some people. And, I'm done apologizing. I just sent off a message to someone apologizing for my lack of messages and that is the last one. I shouldn't have even sent it. I shouldn't have to justify the fact I have been busy to my "friends." I cannot always be available.

And, so my second complaint is the opposite of these concerns. What happens when your "friends" are not available for you when you need them most? I believe that the more we communicate with this technology (e-mail, instant messages, text messages) the easier it is for us to neglect people (does that make sense?). We get so wrapped up in ourselves and our drama that we forget it is our duty as "friends" to make a sincere effort to be there for people when they need us (we can't always be available, but we need to realize that sometimes other people need to be a higher priority than ourselves). We are all guilty of this.

The third problem is along the same lines as being wrapped up in ourselves. Think about the conversations you have with people. How often do you talk about yourself or what is happening with you in comparison to talking about them? Do you ever try to make it all about the person you are talking to and to keep yourself out of it? It amazes me that there are some people who can work themselves into the conversation anywhere. I could be talking about the color yellow, or Sheryl Crow's hair, or gravity, and I know people who can turn the focus back to them so casually you forget that you were expressing your thoughts.

I know a lot of this doesn't make sense and it's very contradictory (but life is contradictory). I'm really tired and worn down and I don't really have the time to read it over and make it sound more coherent. So I ask of you to just read between the lines and try to see what I'm attempting (so eloquently) to say.

I guess I need to put a note here for any sensitive people out there that is not about anyone in particular. This is to everybody and nobody.

And, now I need to take a nice hot bath while I read a book and prepare for my 12 hour shift tomorrow. Goodnight all.