Don't Bother Me... I'm Living.

All is well. I've been working at the Ramada... I go in tomorrow at 2:50pm for my 5th day. I'm liking the job... it's challenging. The manager makes me a bit nervous, but I think I'll be okay.

That's the whole thing, I guess... I'll be okay. I will be okay. Things in my life are good. There are a lot of interesting personal things going on, but I think I'll keep them to myself... The thing about this blog is that I have to watch my audience. I have family members, friends, strangers, and some people I don't necessarily like who read this... So... I think I'll just use a quote from actress Cynthia Nixon to sum it all up perfectly: "My private life is private. But at the same time, I have nothing to hide. So what I will say is that I am very happy." Yes, indeed.

I've been trying to rid myself of those things in life that weigh me down. My goal is to slowly simplify everything around me. If someone brings negativity into my world, then they're gone. I just don't have time for it. I've wasted so much time on people who are negative and bring out the worst in me. A bit of progress for me is I'm beginning to see people in my past differently. I don't "hate" anyone. I'm not angry with anyone. I think I've reached the point where I just pity them. But, again, I don't have time for it. We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with, and I've had a circus load of bad people through my life and it's time to move them right on out.

And so... here I am. In just 5 days, it'll be 3 years since my dad's death. I look back on the past three years and I see the mistakes I've made (those, I won't defend or regret). I see the people I have loved and the people I have hurt. I see all I have left behind, and all I have picked up. I see the stuff I need to let go of, but can't bring myself to... I sincerely believe the hardest part of life is forgiving ourselves for what we do or have done... And, I may never forgive myself for some of the things I have done, but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel bad about it, or let it control me. I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone make me feel bad for being me. No one has that right. I am who I am. I live to find my own truth, no be subjected to others'.

Alrighty... enough of that. As you can probably see, I'm in one of those "moods"... and it's okay.

I'll end this one with a quote from writer Gail Sheehy: "If we don't change, we don't grow. If we don't grow, we aren't really living."

My message here... Live. Do something you normally wouldn't do. Put yourself out on a limb. Take a risk. Break your rules. Do something that'll shock the people around you... show them you're strength. Live. Live. Live. Live.

... Live.