Growth, Maturity and Independence

My aunt has been here the past few days helping me clean up this mess I've created since I went into my depressive state. Now I have to dig myself out of my own personal mess. A much harder job, I believe.

She and I sat down at a restaurant and began talking. I told her my theory about how I've matched all of my father's serious relationships. She found this very interesting. Previously here I mentioned my dad's high school girlfriend, Dottie, who he was not allowed to see and then she appeared much later in his life after a divorce and dying of cancer. Well, my aunt said she believed that because of the impossible relationship with Dottie he never had real success in a relationship. Then she surprised me by telling me her story.

She was young, circa 1940s, and was in love with this man. His parents didn't like her and she said his mother called her often to tell her this. Anyway, the man went off to join the forces and she said she waited for him. She said she had no dates for anything. She was loyal to him all the way. He came back and married another girl. She said this was the reason she never had success in a relationship.

They both had found love and had fallen hard, but it didn't work and scarred them. It scares me that I could follow this same track. I've been lucky enough at 22 to have found two girls I would have spent my life with. Have I used up all we're allotted by the fates?

And, I know I don't want to rush into any relationship because that only causes problems. You end up creating something that isn't there when you rush into it.

I have been thinking about independence lately. I believe that independence is important. I think it's a good idea for people to live on their own, or support themselves, before they get into a relationship. It creates independence and growth. It takes two mature people to make a relationship work and thrive.

As much as I talk about not having a girlfriend, I think it's a good thing. I don't think this is the right time and I don't think I've lived alone long enough to have the maturity or independence it takes to do it right. But if the right girl came along, I'd roll with it. But, of course, I'll have to pick more mature girls (insert joke here).