Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Suicidal
I've been a bit suicidal the last few days... and it's continuing strong now. I'm battling hard against it. Tomorrow I'll be seeing my therapist which is good... It's scary, you know? It's like I'm being broken. The good things in life, I just can't enjoy anymore because I'm just waiting for it to turn bad (as it usually does). Emotions are running haywire inside and just a few moments of silence is all it takes for tears to come and the sad thoughts to begin breaking down the barriers again. So lonely. It's like a cancer, you know? Slowing eating away at you until you're gone. I don't want it to win, but I'm not sure how much longer I can put up this fight.
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2 comments:
life is beautiful.
Life is painful. Each painful moment and tragic moment is a weight added to the soul and the soul can only hold so much. Eventually the weight will pull them under. Each person's soul can hold a different weight, depending on their circumstances. I don't believe I'm one of the stronger ones.
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