My September Resolution

It's that time again! Yep, it's time for a rant. I have decided to take control of my life and build the life I want to live. I spent my childhood rarely speaking. In school some teachers never knew my name. I never caused trouble and most people never even noticed I was there (those who did would torture me). I went through life letting people abuse me and telling me what to do. I had no idea who I was or what I believed.

A year ago I made a decision to be truthful with myself and others. I remember exactly when I made the first big step. I was at work and I met this woman, Helen. I don't know what it was, but within minutes I was telling her my life story (from my suicide attempts to my stay in a hospital to my father's death to my manic-depression and anxiety). It just flowed out of me and it felt good. I realized then that truth really opened me up.

Since then I've been doing everything in my power to develop my own thoughts and opinions. I am learning who I am and that I don't have to just blend in to the background. I am allowed to have thoughts. I spent so much time feeling guilty about being honest with people.

So, I'm no longer going to feel guilty for speaking my mind. I'm no longer going to get upset when people are upset with me. I'm not going to let people guilt me into things or use guilt to harm me. I'm not going to get so emotional over things anymore.

I'm very open minded and I believe people have the right to speak their mind. However, when it comes to their opinions of me... they can speak their mind, sure, but not on my time.