Unanswerable Questions

I thought today I'd post something silly, so submitted for your approval... "Unanswerable Questions":

• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about it?
• If a schizophrenic threatens suicide, is it declared a hostage situation?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?
• Who was the first person to see a cow and think: "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze those dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
• If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
• If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, what is congress?
• When dog food is new and improved tasting, who's testing it?
• What if there were no hypothetical situations? And, where would we be without rhetorical questions?
• If one expects the unexpected, does that make the unexpected expected?
• If you throw a kitten out of a moving car, would it be considered kitty litter?
• Isn't it slightly scary that doctors call what they do "practice?"
• How do "Keep Off the Grass" signs get there?
• If swimming is such great exercise, then why are whales so fat?
• If a man washes a dish and there's no woman around to see it, did it happen?
• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
• Why do we call the person we invest all our money to a broker?
• If a person told you they were a pathological liar, would you believe them?
• Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?
• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
• Why is it when you transport something by car its called shipment; but when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
• Why isn't there mouse flavored cat food?
• Why don't sheep shrink in the rain?
• What was the best thing before sliced bread?
• How young can you die of old age?
• If you choke a smurf, what color will it turn?
• Why is a boxing ring square?
• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
• Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

And, finally,

• If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?